Ok, we’ve heard from the Republicans, Democrats, Radio nutballs of all stripes AND some guy in a clown suit on the Promenade. The election is over but we still have to fight traffic, go to work in the morning and pay our taxes. So, here is OUR manifesto for the coming millennium wherein we affirm that we are NOT trying to be all things to all people but DO have enough substance to please most anyone with an open mind:
We can be liberal: Since the “Old Grapes Network” is so thoroughly entrenched (helped along by all the marketing weasels who couldn’t get work in the Record Biz so they went to work for liquor distributors), we believe emphatically in Varietal Affirmative Action, actively promoting Arneis over Chardonnay, Barbera over Merlot, Aglianico over Syrah and Prosecco over bad Cava in our never ending fight for a level playing field on your dinner table.
We can be Conservative: If your winery was (over) built five years ago with borrowed money at high interest on expensive land that could be used to house Silicon Valley gazzilionaires instead of vineyards and you “need” to get $60 a bottle net wholesale for your first vintage of Merlot to make your loan payments yet comparable wines are available from South Africa or Sicily for 20 cents on the dollar, please don’t cry to us when you should just let the Global Marketplace do it’s work.
Our Educational goals: We want every child to know that Bud is not beer (the first ingredient is RICE for god’s sake), Chardonnay is not finished until it has bubbles in it, Merlot is NOT a synonym for red wine and KORBEL IS NOT CHAMPAGNE!!!!!!
Our Economic goals: We want you to buy twice as much wine but spend half as much money with NO compromise in quality and we believe this is not only possible but that it is a lot more fun as well.
And we will NEVER budge from our core beliefs that, among other things: Duck fat is good for you. A good dry Rosé is a better solution to more foods than most Chardonnay. Telemarketers must be executed without benefit of trial. That if Bill gates would just “innovate” a cure for spam e-mail then people would not hate him so much. And, most importantly, most wine is not supposed to be Art with a capital “A”, it’s GROCERIES!!!